A Raw Honest Cursing Prayer...

Tears cascade down like an open flood gate

its more than I can handle, its more than I can take

Why did you make me, Lord,  if I'm goin' to be in pain

what would that accomplish, what would that gain?

Just rip my heart out, rip it out now

I'm tired of this livin', and figurin' out how

outside I look like 40, inside only 10

when you gonna take it, tell me when, fuckin' when?

Now I don't mean no disrespect, but Lord, what the fuck?

It takes all I have not to step in front a Mack truck

I know it ain't your fault, I don't mean to scream and shout,

but I look at that gun and want to blow my brains out. 

I'm yellin' at you Lord, cause you all I have, all I've got

who can see my insides and my heart in such a knot

I'm beggin' for your mercy, for your grace to face the day

But I really gotta ask, why you let me be made this way?

Maybe there's a higher purpose, or its only in my dreams

to make it more bearable, the reasons for my screams

whatever it is, it hurts, Lord, it feels like fuckin' hell

makes me want to bid the world a final big farewell.

But I made it to the mornin' time, didn't think I'd see the sun

but its easier now today, cause daddy's got the gun

and mom stood watch over me all night and again today

and she waited until she knew that I would be okay.

And I know that even now, Lord, they pray for me tonight

that my heart will heal again, that my soul will be alright

and I know that it will be, cause it always has before

but please, Lord, let me rest, cause I'm really mighty sore.

In my open honesty with God, in my language, in my screams, God continues to bring me grace. Do you think that a God that loves us cares that our language is raw? God the Father and Mother Earth know our innermost feelings and our thought. To be able to be honest with them in that, is healing. They do not wish for us to censor ourselves, for if we do, we will never have an authentic relationship with them. We only show them our best, when they know us at our worst. So share it all with them, and in doing so, you will find healing.