Guts

Take a knife

and cut me up

inside out

see my guts.

Read the signs

read them well

see what stories

they have to tell.

Tales with words

words of blood

pouring forth like

a crimson flood.

Can numb be painful?

Can light be dark?

Can outside be in?

the finish the start?

Makes no sense

no sense you see

this mind of mine

the mind that's ME.

The Fool

I looked in her eyes to see if I still knew her. I wanted her to look like someone else. Someone evil I didn't know. But I knew her. The part that had said she loved me was there but peaking out from behind her, a calm cold calculating woman who uses people who succumb to her charms then throws them away like they are trash. Once I was her obsession. Now she latches onto her next. As cold hearted as the person is I see, I miss the one who I thought she was and I must mourn the death of the one I knew. The one I loved. The one who I thought brought the stars out at night. She is gone. She is dead. And I hurt. I bleed, not from external cuts but from the internal ones brought on by all the lies. I am a fool.

The Demon Date

This is the time of night 

when the demons come

and my heart races

and I can't feel numb

But I try, oh I try

to reach down low

turn off the faucet

turn off the flow

But the tears, oh they fall

and my heart, it does bleed

and I ask for a bandage

and i beg and i plead 

But there ain't nobody out there

ain't no one awake

when the world crashes down

and I've had more than I can take.

And the sleep, it never comes

just tortures me to death 

and I can't see through darkness

and I can't catch my breath.

And I rock till I'm thristy

then I rock till I'm tired

and I can't even nap

cause I'm so fucking wired

Finally I collapse 

not even a pillow for my head

but I don't even care

just glad to have a bed

Then in mercy without limits

I finally slip into dreams

and I wake up with the daylight

and hope outweighs the screams. 

Land of the Broken

This is the land of the angry

This is the home of the pissed

This is a platoon of fighters

To get back the life we have missed

To lay claim to what is ours

To take back a heart full of peace

To fight for quiet and tranquility

To make the war inside cease.

To silence the voices inside

Self doubt, self hate, non stop

Speaking yelling cursing us

Beating us till we drop

Looking over our shoulders

Waiting for the beast to strike

Feeling the hot breathe of evil

Carrying a "fuck you" spike.

Expecting enemies at every turn

We will never disappointed be

Because what we seek we will find

And what we fear we will see

So how do we fight for peace

But lay all our weapons down

But when the enemy is ourselves

Self trust never seems to abound

So round and round we go

In this hamster wheel heart beating

Distrusting the feet we run on

Fearing happiness is fleeting.

This is the land of the broken

This is the land of exhaust

This is the home of the cornered dog

fighting for the life which was lost.

Falling off the world

The world it turned

And off we fell

Into empty space

Own personal hell

Nothing to hold

Nothing to grab

Not a branch to save me

Not even dirt to stab

There was no up

There was no down

Was I even falling

Would I hit the ground?

Would I ever stop?

Or fall endlessly?

A ghost caught in the suction

Spiritual amputee

Can't say I know the answer

No ending to the rhyme

One day I will know

Somewhere out in time

Fur Night Dreams

I sought a place

to disappear

I didn't know why

I didn't know where

the instinct burned

It begged me go

It hastened now

Quick speed bestow

Shivered shoulders

A watched-feeled back

A hunted prey's worst nightmare

No goosebumps did I lack

Searching quickly

No hiding place find

No weapon to defend

No sweet peace of mind

Listening for my predator

A monster with evil breath

I heard silence loudly trumpeting

As I waited for my death

My heart beat a thousand lives

My mouth dry as desert eve

As the clock ticked away the minutes

For the moment I did believe

In my dreams I had seen the future

The fur the eyes the blood

And I knew that I was next

Fear filled me like a flood

Then finally it arrived

My terror choking hour

Remember me when I die

With a simple sweet white flower

Around the corner it came

The shadow large and pressing

I asked for forgiveness for all my sins

And begged for last rite blessings

Then expecting heaven to say

It is finished, it is written

Walking toward me limping came

A tiny little kitten

Her leg, the fur all matted

The blood mixed with road dust

Her eyes begged for kindness

My heart begged her to trust

For that which had brought me terror

Didn't look so scary now

Just another soul who was broken

And needed me somehow

Six Feet Under Ground

I lost myself somewhere sometime

I crawl so far inside

I don't exist out there anymore

So in the dark I hide

I'm just a tiny piece of dust

Kicked about by the wind

Sucked into an empty vortex

This black hole never to transcend

To the dark I escape

Or Is the night my prison

I search for what is me

Yet I have lost my night vision

Take a step, hit a wall

Turn around and repeat

My face a bloody mess

As I face frustration and defeat

Inside it's dark

Inside it's small

Then I know without a doubt

the sad truth of it all

This place I hide

Praying my soul doth save

Is not my salvation

But my coffin, my grave.

It's not time to die

But this time must live

But I'm tired, so tired

Sweet relief, something please give.

Someone dig me up

Someone let me out

But if I see the sunshine

In fear will I shout?

Release me! Leave me be!

A captive to my fear

Where will I feel like me

Out there or tucked in here?

Will I ever know the answer

Will I ever pass the test

Will I always be bumping into walls

Will I ever feel at rest?

No happy ending

No ever after found

Just fighting to stay above

Six feet under ground.