BIG BUTCH BARKS BACK


Created for some of the more raw and painful aspects of growing up different. Sometimes angry, sometimes funny, always honest. Sometimes, the language is very harsh because pain is not gentle.

I am determined to chronicle all aspects of living with absolute candor and genuineness. It allows a connection with others at a deep soul level because they see that you understand their struggles when you reveal your own. If you are offended by cursing or expect the beauty you see on my other blog, Whisper Creek, then you may want to avoid this one. This is the very human side of me, the one God plainly sees. It is the part that God is healing. Let that be my witness.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Frozen


Image by Rebekka Guðleifsdóttir


I sit here, frozen, afraid to move
cause for now my inner demons are feeling soothed
cause the cuts let out all of the screams
that plague my existence, that haunt my dreams.

And if I move, I fear they will wake
and that will be more than I can take
cause they'll come out hungry for even more
to cleanse my sins, to settle the score. 

And if I lay down to go to sleep
into my mind, in my dreams they will creep
and in the morning, when I finally awake
another piece of my soul they will surely take.

And I will go again as if all is fine
I'll smile and laugh and the sun will shine
then the darkness will surround me into a fright
and the demons will consume me into the night.

And the thoughts will get crazy, the thoughts will get mean
and my soul will shout, and my spirit will scream
and I'll beg for God's mercy, and for grace I will pray
to make it another minute, to survive another day.

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