BIG BUTCH BARKS BACK


Created for some of the more raw and painful aspects of growing up different. Sometimes angry, sometimes funny, always honest. Sometimes, the language is very harsh because pain is not gentle.

I am determined to chronicle all aspects of living with absolute candor and genuineness. It allows a connection with others at a deep soul level because they see that you understand their struggles when you reveal your own. If you are offended by cursing or expect the beauty you see on my other blog, Whisper Creek, then you may want to avoid this one. This is the very human side of me, the one God plainly sees. It is the part that God is healing. Let that be my witness.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Fire

F*cking soul reach for peace
Make the angriness cease
Explode and decrease
Send out a press release.

Butch knows what she doin’
Not bitchin’ and brewin’
Just attemptin’ renewing
But quite misconstruing’

So f*cking confused
Of course it ain’t news
I oft’ self abuse
When I can’t seem to diffuse.

But I hold in such fire
Such burning desire
To somehow inspire
To hold your head higher.

But I f*cking am tired
Of feeling so wired
So much has transpired
Peace is desired

But I’m too much a mess
I have to confess
I try to oppress
When I don’t feel so blessed.

In this moment so pissed
In a dark angry mist
My hands frozen in fists
And rage I resist.

F*ck you damn demon
I go kicking and screamin’
Middle finger be beamin’
In my head I am dreamin’.

That someday I’ll stop fightin’
Scraping and biting
Some peace be inviting
When I put it in writing.

Cause I’m f*ckin’ depleted
Way too superheated
Fightin’ undefeated
Yet still uncompleted.

And my humanness sucks
I ain’t got the bucks
No super deluxe
Puts me always influx.

But I keep steppin’ and walkin’
And I keep on talkin’
And I’ll be a balkin’
Til’ the coroner chalkin’.

But for now give me quiet
Put my mind on a diet
Maybe a room in the hyatt
Can’t take no more riot.

I gotta lay down
Soul’s gotta rebound
If I don’t, wait around
My spirit will drown.

So I‘ll count the pink sheep
As I try to sleep
Inside I may weep
Pray my soul you will keep.


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