This is the land of the angry
This is the home of the pissed
This is a platoon of fighters
To get back the life we have missed
To lay claim to what is ours
To take back a heart full of peace
To fight for quiet and tranquility
To make the war inside cease.
To silence the voices inside
Self doubt, self hate, non stop
Speaking yelling cursing us
Beating us till we drop
Looking over our shoulders
Waiting for the beast to strike
Feeling the hot breathe of evil
Carrying a "fuck you" spike.
Expecting enemies at every turn
We will never disappointed be
Because what we seek we will find
And what we fear we will see
So how do we fight for peace
But lay all our weapons down
But when the enemy is ourselves
Self trust never seems to abound
So round and round we go
In this hamster wheel heart beating
Distrusting the feet we run on
Fearing happiness is fleeting.
This is the land of the broken
This is the land of exhaust
This is the home of the cornered dog
fighting for the life which was lost.
I have been a rock bottom and I have been at the top of the world...Both places are very lonely and both can be very dark places..I want you to know that you are loved for who you are and not what you are..I am worried for you and your sanity..sending all of our love and support your way..Just remember to not be afrais to grab the hand of someone reaching out for you, it may be more of an escape from the darkness you are in than you realize...<3 Sending huggles and cuddles your way J...
ReplyDeleteThis is human emotion, and it's a side all of us have. It's not scary to me. Many don't openly acknowledge it. If the masks were to come off everyone we would see. There are very few courageous enough to show that side of themselves, but the irony is that in embracing it we take away much of the power it has over us. Bless your heart, you've had so much to deal with. I too grew up in a stifled religious setting and was taught I was possessed by a "demon", and I believed it till I was in my mid 20's. That's a heavy thing to bear. it's also complete bullshit. I now think the only true demons are evil human beings who wish to personify their dark side in order to lay their blame onto another entity. From the time I was 12 and all through my teens my silent nighttime prayer would be "God, change me or kill me". No wonder we're emotionally crippled. Every day I thank Creation that I broke away from that. And I thank God for the accepting family I've had, especially a mother whose unconditional love transcended religious doctrine. Sending good thoughts and energy your way Jamie.
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